Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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