Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
