He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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