I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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