yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
wanna go halves on a baby?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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