So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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