Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
one might say we're banned from that church
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
