Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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