just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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