so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
