Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
