I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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