She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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