I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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