The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do herpes really smell.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
