Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do herpes really smell.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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