She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
