If i come over, it means nothing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize