and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
