After last night, I could never be a politician.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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