i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize