i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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