Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
