I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize