I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
