She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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