my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
