The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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