You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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