Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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