Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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