I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.