dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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