God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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