My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
