she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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