Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize