he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
