You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
