I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
