i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pants are for mortals
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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