mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize