4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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