i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
