It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
