Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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