Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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