We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
