Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
