i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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