you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So here I am, sexting at work.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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