I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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