I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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