I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
